NO.1: The employees

The employees do not look like they are working at the Happiest Place on Earth

NO.2: The Traffic

You have to drive up to 2 hours in traffic to get there

NO.3: The Food

Eating a full turkey leg off the bone while walking around in the blistering sun has to violate half a dozen FDA regulations.

NO.4: Mickey Mouse

Mickey Mouse can’t be that happy all the time. He tries to spread a certain quality of joy only attainable through a manic episode. He’s selling a lie.

NO.5: Kids on Leashes

It’s depressing to see children on leashes because that is the surefire way to make kids hold resentment towards parents.

NO.6: Nostalgia

I understand nostalgia, but sometimes going to a place you liked as a kid makes you depressed and sad.

NO.7: The Kids

Being a kid around a lot of other kids is fun, but being an adult around other screaming, tired children is the opposite of that.

NO.8: Mickey Mouse Ears

The people who wear their Mickey Mouse ears the next day to school or work. WE KNOW YOU WENT TO DISNEYLAND BECAUSE YOU POSTED 50 PHOTOS OF YOUR MAGICAL TIME TO FACEBOOK.

August 8th | Eric Spitznagel

The summer camp movie that inspired a generation and launched comedy careers. Relive the magic of “Meatballs”!

June 14th | The Heckler Staff

The Heckler Exclusive! Adult Coloring Books to download and stress out over.

August 4th | The Heckler Staff

Real Trump quotes, in our real office. Not the real Trump.